BFU

Today, I'm going to take an acceptable break from reality to review the 5 new episodes of Bakugan.

Sorry if I get stuff wrong/leave out important details/sound like I don't care. I'm doing this from memory.

SPOILERS DO FOLLOW, DEARS.

Episode 20- Partners 'Til the End
Kayso. I think I need a list of reasons why I love Zenet. She's totally underloved and nobody likes her. I've seen her called "annoying", "bratty", "stupid", etc. Yet she's somehow one of my favorite characters. I think it has something to do with her hair. And that nice hat of hers. And the fact that she makes me laugh.
Haters gonna hate, I suppose.
Her imitation skills are pretty lulzy. Just saying.
Aaaaaaand Gill decides to be a dick and kill her. Whoop-de-freakin-doo. Can I be the first person in the entire fandom to say that I don't like Gill? Because I don't. I think he's kind of a dick.

Episode 21- Divide and Conquer
You know it's a good episode when it starts out with Nurzak burning stuff.
Unfortunately, it allllll goes downhill from there.
This entire episode reminded me of New Vestroia Episode 39. You know, the one where Gus supposedly dies, but, ha ha, surprise surprise, he's actually alive and kicking. Yes, THAT New Vestroia episode 39. That's all I could think of. So yeah, it was kind of hard for me to watch this episode.
You know it's a bad episode when Sabator explodes.
Also, I hate Kazarina as well. In the beginning, she's all like "I'M ONLY LOYAL TO BARODIUS". Then a few episodes later, she's all like "Jk let's ditch these fags". Then a few MORE episodes later, she's all like "oh by the way I kinda lied before and now I'm on Barodius' side again".
REALLY?
Ugh.

Episode 22- Mobile Assault
Let me just say that BMAVs, more commonly known as Bakugan Mobile Assault Vehicles, are the most idiotic thing ever invented. Why does my Dharak feel the need to drive? Does he have a driver's license? What about my Lythirus? Is he legal and eligible to drive? I NEED ANSWERS, DAMNIT!
The episode starts out unremarkable. I was honestly bored.
And then... HE showed up.
Stoica's human form may be one of the sexiest things I've ever seen. (Not as sexy as Lance, but... pretty close.)
Of course, we get a gratuitous close-up of his ass. Of course, he's also wearing rather... tight jeans.
And suspenders.
I didn't take my pants off, they just kinda came off by themselves.
I SWEAR.
Mindraping kids is the easiest way to win wars. And now that I've said it, the terrorists will start doing it. You're welcome.

Episode 23- Sid Returns
WHAT? He's supposed to be dead!
WHAT? THEY'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! WHY ARE THEY ALIVE? AND WHY ARE THEY IN TUBES? QUESTIONS, PEOPLE! I WANT ANSWERS!
Apparently nobody cares about Mason. Pity, I kind of liked that Mason guy. He was pretty cool. And he brawled Subterra... which is apparently the fast track to either dying or being ignored completely after a while. Most likely dying though.
Colossus Drago is just Maxus Drago version 2. Lame. Drago needs to stop being a Mary Sue and lose a couple hundred battles. I'm sick and tired of him practically curbstomping any enemy that dares stand in his way. Sure, he's supposed to be the cool Mega Badass Dragon who saves the day and fights for his friends and never dies, but there's a fine line between Crystal Dragon Jesus (awesome) and Mary Sue (not awesome). And he's crossing it over and over and over.... and over and over and over... oh, screw it, he pretty much burned the line, stabbed it repeatedly, and then stomped all over it.
Oh, this is one of those episodes where we get flashbacks to every important death... besides Mason.
Except they're not really dead, just stuck in tubes where they apparently will eventually drown.
Ahahaha, you just got Dharak'd.
Sid x Ren is a cool pairing bro. Unfortunately, since Sid died, all Ren will do is angst about it.

Episode 24- Colossus Dharak
Poor emo Ren. Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it. Nobody cares that your boyfriend is dead because, quite frankly, he sort of deserved it.
Also, the writers take delight in killing people.
Has anyone noticed that Airzel hasn't been doing much for the last few episodes?
Actually, has anyone noticed that Airzel just doesn't do stuff?
Oh, so Ren can have character development, but no one from Season 2 (save Spectra and Mira, if that's what you wanna call it) is allowed to have any? Nobody here even LIKES Ren. He's a wangsty little emo kid who hates his past. We don't need any more emos, I'm pretty sure that Alice and Mira were enough for this series.
Yeah, Airzel threw his Bakugan. Doesn't really count as doing stuff.
Barodius reminds me of Hitler on that eyecatch. Just saying.
Try as he might, Hawktor will never be able to defeat Strikeflier. It's a true fact. Hawktor is another guy I don't like, mostly because his voice is annoying and he can never replace the tranny awesomeness that was Ingram.
What's with all of these constant flashbacks to Sid's death? Is Ren really that much of an emo kid?
There we go! Drago gets his ass royally whooped! By Dharak! YES! For once, the almighty Drago LOSES A BATTLE!
...Ren, you just screwed yourself.

Next week- Ren gets character development and fights Barodius.

30 minutes until Sym-Bionic Titan. Don't think I can survive that long.